Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
