Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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