Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Randomize
