how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
