What a fucking waste of an outfit
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
