i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
