I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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