and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
