I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
