Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize