all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
