So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
