sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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