I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
