i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I need a burrito and a hug.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
