life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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