My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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