At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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