I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
