Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
