After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
