Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Need sex. Gaining weight.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
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