Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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