Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
