Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
