HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
