Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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