It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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