Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Randomize
