Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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