I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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