Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
