I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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