you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
