She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize