She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
