you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
