pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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