it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Text me some of your sweat
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
