I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize