youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
