i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize