I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
