What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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