I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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