what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
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