I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Randomize
