I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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