I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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