If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
