sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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