I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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