meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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