He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize