Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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