puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
