What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
