every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
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