this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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