I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Randomize
