whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
