big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
