he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Watching her eat just hurts me
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
